Calling to Paradise
by Hatori's Snowdrop Princess
Summary: *Spoiler Alert* takes place after chapter 77.  Nana is getting emails… from Ren.  He's inviting her to join him because this new world is so beautiful.  Will love transcend the supernatural and unite them or will Nana break? Read and review.
1. Inbox 1: Hey, Nana

Hey, Hatori's Snowdrop Princess here.

Disclaimer: All of the characters and original story belong to Ai Yazawa-sensei.

Full Summary: *Spoiler Alert* takes place after chapter 77. Nana is getting emails… from Ren. He's inviting her to join him because this new world is so beautiful. Will love transcend the supernatural and unite them or will Nana break? Read and review.

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Inbox (1): Hey, Nana

Nana Osaki sat staring at the ocean, debating with herself. The waves crashed on the sand, like they were inviting her to come in and take a swim.

_Ren…_ She looked down at her wrist. Wound around it on a leather cord was the last thing Ren ever held. One lonely guitar pick in his perfect, beautiful hands. Never again would he use it to strum his stiffening guitar strings or would he pick up his bass and play for a crowd that adored him. Never again would his music greet her at the door as he sat on the couch and smile as she walked in.

_ Hey, Ren… The day your car crashed into that place… That place we used to share and forget about our loneliness… My life crashed with you. You said you'd take me with you and yet… Here I am. _She pulled out a cigarette, Seven Stars and lit it. As she exhaled in a sigh the smoke swirled around in the air before her. She could feel the tears fall as she smelled him. The smell of cigarettes on his clothes as he pulled her close to her in an embrace she could never feel again. She buried her head in her knees and let the coldness of the winter air engulf her until she could feel nothing.

_I couldn't even see your face. Just like that… You were gone._ She stood up, wiping her tears with her icy hands. "…I'm sorry…" she whimpered. She shook her head. _Louder. So he can hear me, so the whole world can hear me._ Her face became more determined. "I'm sorry!" she shouted at the ocean, at the gulls. The birds ignored her, but the wind heard her.

It spoke to her. "Nana." She looked around, confused and angry. It was Ren's voice, clear as a pin dropping in a silent room with tile floors. She spun around.

"Ren?" she called. No one answered this time. _I'm losing it._ She gripped her hair in her hands and screamed in frustration. "Why? Why would you do this to me? Damn it all!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Her shouts became sobs and she fell to the ground again. "When am I going to stop feeling this way? When will this damn nightmare end?"

A black car with tinted windows pulled up alongside the boardwalk. Nana felt him before he came and draped his coat around her shoulders. "Nana, it's time to go," Yasu said softly, putting his arm around her shoulders.

She sniffled and walked with him to the car. "I haven't seen you since…" Flashes of memories from Ren's funeral made her shudder.

"I know, I'm sorry. I've been busy," Yasu replied, keeping himself as cool as he possibly could.

He spared Nana a glance. She was truly a wreck and broken inside to a point where Yasu thought he couldn't fix her. Not this time. The truth was Yasu could never truly help her. _How can I help you when I can't help myself? Ren… Look at Nana. I can't take care of her this time. What am I supposed to do? I couldn't even take care of you…_

Nana looked at Yasu. "Yasu, I think I'm going to be going away," she said, sounding more sure than she felt.

Yasu raised a brow. "Where are you going?" he asked, afraid of her answer.

She looked out the window at the snow covered landscape and sighed, thinking. "I don't know," she said after a long silence. "I just have to get out of here. I'm suffocating." She waited for his reaction, hoping secretly in her heart that he would stop her. That he would magically heal this deep seated wound, like he always did. Minutes went by and still he said nothing, trapped in his own head, not really processing what she had just said.

The apartment came into view and Nana waited for instructions from Yasu. Anything. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said and unlocked the door.

She felt the urge to cry and to scream at Yasu to help her, but she swallowed it all. "Yeah. Thanks for coming to get me." Nana got out of the car and walked into the building, up to apartment 707.

Yasu drove away and once he came to a stoplight he stared at it. "Dammit!" he shouted and banged the steering wheel. He drove back to the dorms to find Nobu in the common room with Yuri.

"Hey, how was Nana? Is being away from the dorms helping her?" Nobu asked as Yasu sat down with a beer and took out his cigarettes.

Yuri felt a heaviness in the room that made her uncomfortable. She yawned wide and loud, "Hey, I think I'll go to bed."

"Huh?" Nobu looked up. "Uh, okay. Good night."

She bent down and kissed him before walking out of the room. Everything was different now. There was no more time for light-hearted fun. No time to just fool around. Yuri peaked back in the room as the two sat in silence. Nobu was hurting, but she couldn't do anything for him and her insecurities came flowing back. Feeling vulnerable, she finally really left.

In the room, Yasu folded his heads after leaning his cigarette on the ash tray. "She's not getting any better. She told me that she's going to go away."

Nobu looked up, alerted by the awful thought that he just had to ask, "She's not going to follow Ren, right?" His hands were shaking as he waited for Yasu to answer.

Yasu tensed up and gave it serious thought, "I don't know. Anything can happen at this point."

Nana sat alone in the apartment. There was a note on the table:

_Hey, Nana,_

_ I'll be over as soon as I finish making Takumi's dinner. If you're hungry I brought you some of the pasta I made along with a Jackson burger. I wasn't sure what you would want and I know that the burgers always cheer me up._

_ -Hachiko_

_P.S I'll bring a strawberry cake for us to eat tonight!_

Nana ignored the note and the food. Lately, she didn't want anything. Her phone buzzed in her jacket pocket and she pulled it out. _It must be Hachi saying that Takumi is running late and she'll be late too. That ass._ The little envelope icon on her phone had a 1 in the middle of it. She opened the email and dropped the phone in shock.

With wide eyes she read the message.

_To: Nana Osaki_

_From: Ren Honjo_

_Subject: Hey_

_ Nana,_

_ Hey, how are you doing? I'm sorry for not coming to you right away. I thought I had time to do some stuff for Trapnest. Heh, I was wrong. Everything here is fine. It's so beautiful. I think you'd really like it here. I didn't get to say it one last time, but I have to tell you. I love you._

_ Thinking of You_

Nana read the message over and over again. _What the hell?_ She looked around the room. _This has got to be some kind of sick joke! This can't be real. It can't be!_ She stared at the phone as the backlight faded. _It can't be Ren. It just can't._ Numbness came first, then fear. She grabbed the phone and scrolled through the contact list, selecting Hachi. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hey, Nana. I was just about to come over. What's up?" Hachi asked, sounding happy and bubbly as usual. She had tried to keep things light after Ren's death.

"Did that ass of a husband of yours keep anything that belonged with Ren. Like… his cell phone?" she asked, trying not to sound as panicked as she felt.

"Cell phone? Takumi said that his phone was destroyed. They couldn't even retrieve any information from it," Hachi replied, thinking about it carefully. She was worried about Nana and was careful around the subject of Ren. After a second she added, "But, I'll call him now, just to make sure if you want."

"No," Nana responded. "Don't ask him."

After a minute, Hachi said, "So, I'll see you soon. I'm leaving now."

"Okay," she said and hung up.

_Ren's phone was destroyed… Then… It's not a joke. Even if someone pretended to be Ren they wouldn't have the same number as him, right?_ She looked at the email again and selected reply.

_To: Ren Honjo_

_From: Nana Osaki_

_RE: Subject: Hey_

_ Is it really you? Where the hell are you? If this is some kind of prank I'll kill you! _

She hesitated and kept her finger just above the send button. Everything was a deafening silence. The only thing that broke her out of it was a knock on the door. She jumped, accidentally pressing 'send'. She stared at what she'd done. "Wait, no!" she shouted at it and her heart dropped as the 'Message Sent' screen popped up and disappeared.

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Hey, thanks for reading. Let me know what you think. These chapters will most likely remain short like this one was. Read and review! No flames, please. ~Hatori's Snowdrop Princess


	2. Inbox 2: It's You

Hey, welcome back.

Disclaimer: All of the characters and original story belong to Ai Yazawa-sensei.

Inbox (2): It's You

"Dammit!" She yanked open the door. "How do I get the email back?"

Nobu stood there in shock as she put her hands on his shoulders. "Y-you can't!" he replied.

Nana went back into the apartment with Nobu following her, shutting the door behind him. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I came to check on you. Yasu said you were going away," he said, sitting down at the table.

She calmed down and said, "He told you?"

"Yeah. We're worried about you. I'm worried about you. You'll get through this," he told her, trying to be as comforting as possible without totally pissing her off.

"Don't worry about me," she replied, feeling embarrassed that he was so worried that he had to come all the way over.

As Nobu took a seat at the table he looked up at her, not knowing what would be right to say. He felt that horrible, lost, empty feeling that he got the first time Ren left, but this time it was a million times worse because this time there was no hope that he would be coming back. Nothing would ever be the same again. _…I can't ask Nana to stay. It must hurt her a lot to be here with the paparazzi buzzing and everything._

Nobu's silence frustrated her. "Did you come here to say something or what?" she exasperated, staring at him. He blinked a couple of times, but nothing made sense. She got up and went into the kitchen to get herself a beer to calm her nerves. "If you're just going to sit there get out. I don't need you to stare at me with that sorry expression."

"I know," he said quickly. "I just don't want to say something that will make you even more upset!" Nana calmed down a bit and then took a sip of beer.

More awkward silence.

Nana held onto her phone, hoping for a message from Ren. She concentrated on it, waiting for any sign, but also hoping nothing would happen. _This is insane! _She looked at Nobu, who was also using his phone. She opened her mouth to ask, but then closed it before any sound could escape. _I can't ask Nobu if he got an email too. He'll think I'm nuts if he didn't. _She put the phone back in her pocket and a few seconds later the front door opened, making her jump from the sudden sound.

"Sorry I'm late!" Hachi announced as she came in. "Takumi didn't come home when he said he would and told me to come see you." She put down what looked like a heavy bag of food on the kitchen counter.

Nobu got up to help her and she said, "Oh, I didn't know you were coming Nobu. But, I think there's enough for all of us!" She smiled her bright, reassuring smile. In return a sappy grin appeared on his face.

Nana watched Hachi empty the bag and she was suddenly starving. "Alright! Hachi's cooking is the best!" She brought out one of the two special strawberry glasses from the cabinet for Hachi to drink from and a beer for Nobu.

Nana's happy exterior slowly fell away as the evening went on. She looked down at her phone every few minutes unknowingly. Nobu and Hachi were a little awkward too, trying to keep conversations alive. But, soon that died down too and the three found themselves in a deafening silence.

"Man, I gotta pee!" Nana announced suddenly and went into the bathroom. She could feel Hachi and Nobu staring at her before she shut the door.

After a moment, Hachi asked, "How are you, Nobu?"

He looked up at her and sighed, "I don't know what to do with myself. It's like… Everything is starting to fall apart." Hachi sunk back into her seat, thinking about something encouraging to say. But, Nobu spoke first, "I know it isn't easy for you either. It happened so suddenly."

"Yeah, Takumi is so upset and he won't talk about anything. I don't want to bring it up because I don't want to make him more upset. I don't know what to do for him." She paused and then said what everyone had been thinking, "I wish Ren were still here…"

Nobu nodded and then leaned his head on his hand as he played with his food. More time passed and Nobu slammed his fist on the table. "Dammit! I can't believe this! Why did he have to go?" he shouted, letting out his frustration with the current situation.

An alarmed Hachi leaned over and whispered, "Not so loud. I don't want Nana to-" she began before Nobu interrupted.

"I know! I just… I…"he tried to control himself. "How can I just sit here and not talk about it? Everyone's all messed up now."

In the bathroom Nana stood at the door, listening to the conversation. She sighed and looked at her messages again. _I'm being selfish. _She read Ren's first message and she laughed quietly to herself as she sunk to the floor. The same thought came to her… _I am losing my mind._ With a heavy sigh she got up and put her hand on the knob as she made to leave when her phone rumbled.

Her heart stopped. _Ren? _She slowly turned over her phone to see the envelope with a little one in the middle of it again. Slowly, she flipped it open and read the message.

_To: Nana Osaki_

_From: Ren Honjo_

_Re: Subject: Hey_

_ Nana,_

_ Fast, right? There's lots of stuff to do here, but I like getting messages from you. Haha, it's not a joke, it's really me. This place is amazing, they've got all of the '_Shonen Jump'_ I can read. I didn't get a chance to read the new issue and get thing; you don't have to pay for anything! If I figure out how to do it I'll send you some Vivienne. How is everybody? I miss them._

Nana held her breath for a minute. _I can't believe this… It's really him. _Part of her wanted to shout with joy and the other part of her was telling her this was the most insane thing that has ever happened to her. _Screw it. Who cares if I'm insane? As long as I don't tell anyone else it'll be okay… Right?_ She sat down on top of the toilet and began to type her response as fast as she could.

_To: Ren Honjo_

_From: Nana Osaki_

_Re: Subject: Hey_

_ I miss you. Where are you anyway? Are you still here or what? Everyone misses you. It's pretty lame here without you. Everyone is crying and upset. Couldn't you talk to them to?_

She waited a minute before leaving to find Hachi and Nobu cleaning up their plates. They were having light chatter about a new drama on TV. Well, Hachi did the talking and Nobu looked fascinated.

"It turns out that Johnny really did steal Minoru's girlfriend," Hachi was saying.

"No way! I have to see this, maybe Yuri will like it," he replied, making a mental note of the drama's name.

"Hey, Nana," Hachi greeted as Nana handed her the utensils that had been left behind.

"Thanks for the food," Nana replied, feeling much happier. She felt her phone rumble and excitement bubbled up, but she tried to keep a cool exterior.

"Hey! Let's play Mahjong," Nobu said, digging out the set. "I didn't know you guys had this here."

"Oh yeah, I brought it weeks ago. I figured that dragging that heavy set everywhere it'd be easier to keep one here," Hachi responded, walking over to sit at the table with Nobu.

Nana hesitated whether to leave or to go into her room to read Ren's new message. But, Hachi called to her and decided to play a game. _One game couldn't hurt. After all, I'm talking to Ren and they're worried about me. I just have to let them know that I'm fine._ She grabbed a fresh beer and sat down with them.

Hey, sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoyed chapter 2 and you read and review! ~Hatori's Snowdrop Princess


	3. Inbox 3: Calling

Hi, thanks for all of your support!

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Inbox (3): Calling

Nana had fallen asleep at the table, a blanket draped over her shoulders. She kind of remembered Nobu leaving and then Hachi soon after, but everything was a little blurry. She looked around to see that the apartment was as spotless as before she had crashed to escape the paparazzi.

She yawned and stretched like a cat before getting up to brush her teeth. Numbly, she searched the fridge for food and found a couple of bento boxes with a note attached. _I'll be back in a few days._ She smiled as she took out a box and popped it into the microwave.

Nana then remembered the phone messages. Quickly, she grabbed the phone and flipped it open. _Dammit! I forgot to charge this thing!_ She ran into her bedroom and dug through her stuff. "Where the hell did I put it?" she shouted while dumping out the contents of her overnight bag.

She then rummaged through all of her drawers and at last found it. As it charged she checked for messages and found what she was looking for. A smile appeared on her face instantly as she opened it.

_To: Nana Osaki_

_From: Ren Honjo_

_Re: Subject: Hey_

_Damn, tell them all to cheer up! I'm in this incredible place and they'd all be WAY jealous! It's not Earth, but I don't know where this is. But, I promise you, you would love it. I can't really talk to them. I'm lucky I figured this thing out in the first place. You… You're the only one I want to talk to anyway. Every day, I wake up and do whatever I want. Play guitar, write songs, and smoke cigarettes. The only thing that's missing is you._

Nana's fast-pounding heart had stopped at the last line. Suddenly, the grief hit her again and gripped the phone tightly in her hand. "Why? Why do you keep saying things like that?" she yelled. Loneliness sucked her in and it wouldn't let her go. These emails from Ren, the fact that she would respond to them… None of them made her feel better or less lonely.

She typed out her response slowly, thinking about everything she said.

_To: Nana Osaki_

_From: Ren Honjo_

_Re: Subject: Hey_

_ This can't be real. Ren… I can't do this. This is insane! I can't be with you anymore._

Nana sent the message, afraid. She was afraid that she was losing to herself and she'd be running in this abyss of depression for the rest of her life. _I need to stop this. No more! I won't do this anymore! _She felt vulnerable, something that she would never say out loud or consciously show. Immediately and to her surprise, Ren had answered her quickly.

She stared at it. Now was the moment of truth, to prove that she could live without talking to Ren, to try to move on and grieve the way most people do. She didn't want to cry anymore. "I'm so weak…" she whispered, the truth hitting her. Slowly, she got up and moved onto the bed, ignoring the message that she knew would still be there when she woke up.

The world was dreamy as she sat up in bed. She shifted her weight to get up and felt something rustle next to her. What she saw shocked her. Sleeping peacefully on his side, snoring softly was Ren. She jumped out and looked at the room again. Her bedroom was gone and she was in the warehouse on the docks. Sid and Nancy poster, two guitars, little bathtub. It was all there, just as she remembered it. Even Ren, his face perfect, like she remembered it.

_I'm dreaming._ She sat down on the bed again next to Ren and closed her eyes. _Well, if I'm going to dream…_ She leaned over slowly and poked Ren, like he was something unusual. Ren waved an arm and turned over to face her, eyes still closed and the padlock shifting with him. When he opened them a smile slid across his face.

"Morning," he mumbled. "Did you sleep well?"

Nana couldn't fight the urge. "What are you doing here?" she asked, guarded.

"What do you mean? I live here?" he laughed, a sound she hadn't heard in so long, rang clear here, in this dream world.

"You know what I mean," she prodded.

"I had to see you." Ren sat up, reaching an arm out to welcome her. Automatically her body moved to be wrapped in Ren. In his scent and his essence. He looked hurt, "…You didn't answer my email, so I thought I'd check up on you."

Her eyes narrowed, annoyed at him, but didn't pull out of his embrace. "You're selfish," she pouted.

Ren laughed, "Why?"

"You're so relaxed and it's pissing me off!" she yelled, pulling away to look at him.

Ren just closed his eyes and smiled at her. Nana jumped out of bed and started looking for a way out. He got up and followed her, putting his arms around her, just wanting to feel her touch. He wanted her to say things on her own, but knew that she wouldn't.

"I miss you," he said again in a whispered voice. "I want to be with you."

"You can't! You're dead and now you're freaking haunting me! You're such an ass!" Nana threw her hands down, "Dammit! Why won't you just leave me alone so I can get over you?" She turned to face him, tears streaming down her face.

"You don't mean that," he went on. He walked over to the window of the room and looked out. He debated with himself while Nana sat on the floor, not looking at him. Nana heard him coming nearer to her and he sat down beside her. "…You don't have to stay here," he said. She snuck a peek and saw that Ren was staring blankly at the wall.

Her stomach knotted as she asked, "What do you mean?" She was looking up at him, arms rested on her knees, head on her arms, her cat eyes wide.

He got up to stand in front of her. His hand was outstretched to her; she knew where she'd be going. She'd be going where Ren had gone, far away from the problems that plagued her on Earth.

"Let me show you Paradise," he whispered as he brought her to the front door. His arms were around her as he stood behind. "It's up to you to open the door."

Nana's heart was pounding, thinking. The door seemed to call to her, or was it Ren's invitation that called to her? Either way, she stood there. When she didn't do anything he said, "Take your time."

In the real world, Hachi stood in the main room, just outside Nana's. She was on the phone, "Yasu, it's Nana, she won't wake up."

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Hey, Guys, thanks for sticking with the story. Here's another short chapter. As always, read and review! ~Hatori's Snowdrop Princess


	4. Inbox 4: In Your Arms

Hey, hope you're all enjoying the story!

Disclaimer: All of the characters and original story belong to Ai Yazawa-sensei.

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Inbox (4): In Your Arms

Nana's eyes opened and all she saw was the black leather on her arm. She slowly rose and was blinded by a white light, forcing her to shut her eyes again. Slowly, she allowed her eyes to readjust.

"Where am I?" she whispered into the blank space.

She got to her feet and began to walk. Nana looked down, her heavy combat-style boots felt weightless, in fact all of her felt weightless, not even the heavy leather jacket held her down. She stared down at her fingertips and let her eyes wander over her body. Everything seemed to glow, from her porcelain skin, her Vivienne Westwood ring, the studs on her cuff, and even the cloth of her clothes. She touched her face, it was soft as always.

"Nana?" his voice rang soft and sweetly in the air around her, taking her breath away.

She stood there, shaking, afraid to turn around and afraid to break down. Before she could form a thought his arms slinked over her shoulders, his hands joined together by her collar bone. Nana closed her eyes, taking in his essence. He put her hand on his.

"Is this real?" she asked, voice breaking and betraying her pride.

"Yes," he cooed, his cheek leaning against the top of her head.

Nana winced at the memory of Ren being on the slab in the morgue, his face covered by that damn cloth. His body limp and lifeless was never to look the same again. She feared what he looked like now, if she had to turn around and see a living version of that body she'd break down right there.

"Don't be afraid," he reassured her, almost as if he had read her mind. He lightened his grip on her. "I'm okay. I promise." She quivered. "Turn around," he encouraged, taking his arms completely from her.

Nana took a deep breath and in a quick, fluid motion she turned around and before she could change her mind she looked up. Ren was there, his face just as she remembered it with his milky brown eyes, strong nose, and those soft lips that had brushed against hers so many times before. She reached up and ran her fingers through his soft, spikey charcoal hair and pressed her body, hard, against his. She could feel the cold metal of the lock around his neck chill her bare skin. She pulled him down and their mouths collided in a heated passion. The next thing she knew they were on the floor, kneeling in front of each other, breathing hard.

"Dammit!" she yelled, pusing against his chest. "Why? You promised you wouldn't leave me behind! Dammit, dammit, dammit!" She pounded against his chest in frustration and to her dismay, her tears flooded from her eyes and trailed down her cheeks. She could feel herself growing weak with grief.

Finally, she slumped, silently weeping. Ren leaned over, putting his arm around her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, running his hand up and down her back. The motion stopped and he sat back on his heels and clenched his fists. "I didn't want to go! Right after I talked to Reira and fixed things with Trapnest I was going to come and get you!" he exclaimed, his own tears now streaming. He took her by the chin and lifted her head to see the shock in her eyes. He shifted his position to stretch one leg out and the other was bent, but he still stayed close to her. "I love you so much that it hurts… I tried, I really did, the last thing I wanted to do was to leave you…" Ren explained calmer now, looking off to the side as if remembering those final moments he had in the car. "You were my very last thought."

Nana pulled her knees to her chest, looking at him. "I was?" she hiccupped. He nodded, still recalling the painful moment when he knew he was leaving Nana behind, the love of his life and the only one he could ever really give his all. "What now?" she asked, unsure if she really wanted to ask this question.

The air between them grew tense and the words hung there. Ren was quiet for a long time. "Why's he taking so long?" she wondered, half impatient and half thankful that he hadn't spoken. She took this moment to really look at Ren. He was a man. He understood her, he loved her, and he was going to marry her. She missed him so much. From the feeling of his presence next to her in bed and when they held hands and walked the streets. The smell of Seven Stars cigarettes comforted her because if she smelled that it meant he was there.

"You can stay here," he said at last, his voice heavy with longing, his face twisted with sadness. Ren stood up and reached down to her. "Let me show you."

Nana sat still, staring at that hand she longed to hold and never let go of. But, something tugged at her and she suddenly looked guarded. "What happens if I let you show me?"

Ren's hand dropped to his side and the two stood there in awkward silence. "I-I don't really know." The pain in his eyes struck her hard because she felt it too.

"Can I really leave him?" she asked, her mind fighting with her heart. "Ren is all I had for so long. Without him…" The realization hit her and her eyes widened, "I'm alone. Oh God, I don't want to be alone again!" She got to her feet and stood closer to Ren, so close that their jackets brushed together. He took her into his arms and breathed in and out heavily. Nana remembered Hachi, Nobu, Yasu, Shin, and everyone else. "Is it worth it to leave all of them just for this one guy?" she thought, "They've already lost Ren. I've lost Ren…" She had to ask, "If I leave… Will I ever see you again?"

She could feel Ren's breath as he sighed, "I don't know. You'll be old; I might not recognize you anymore." He chuckled as he gripped her tightly.

Ren's body was hard and slim, just like always and it molded to her form perfectly. _If I leave I will never find anyone like him again. _Tears fell from her eyes, "Dammit! Why does it have to be so hard! It's not fair," she looked up into his face. His eyes were understanding, warm, and he was smiling down at her. She gripped him tightly and shouted, "Say something! Say something to make me want to stay!"

Ren brushed the back of her head with his hand, "It's lonely without you. It's not fair, they get to have you and I had to die!" He pulled away and squatted down, one hand covering his face, the other hanging limply over his knee. "This… It isn't what I wanted!" He began to tremble like Nana had never seen. For the first time in a long time he looked so vulnerable. Ren's voice quivered as he said, "I wanted everything to be perfect."

Nana was frozen to her spot, shaking even more and her heart hurting as she watched this. The two seemed to be in completely different places, the space between them acting as two different worlds. "I-I want to see your Paradise," she told him at last, swallowing hard and staring at his back.

His ears perked up, hearing the sweet, honest sentence and he slowly turned around, afraid that if he moved to quickly she'd run away like a scared cat. He rose to his feet and held out his hand to her, "Are you sure?" he asked in a delicate way as she gingerly took his hand.

With another hard thump of her heart she said, "Yes."

They walked together to the front door of the warehouse where they didn't know what to expect. Nana put her hand on the handle and twisted it, the door seemed to open the rest of the way on its own. The white light blinded her once more and she felt it pull her forward, Ren just an arm's length behind.

Once the light had vanished confusion, frustration, and disappointment filled her. Letting go of his hand she wandered into the space before her. The band set up was familiar and she found her way to the mic stand, the one with the scarf tying a rose to it. She touched it gently and tried to look out through the blinding red, blue, and green lights to see the audience. Ren was next to her now, not holding a guitar, but a bass. He swung the strap around his shoulders and smiled at her.

Without even realizing it she began to sing, her voice more powerful and beautiful than ever before. As she sang the words to a song she'd forgotten that she'd known things began to make more sense:

Gone but not forgotten are the frozen,

Tears of our soul, the one,

We made together to make each other whole.

Embrace me!

Take me!

Drown me in your scent!

Scent of cigarettes, smoking,

Through the frozen air,

Rock and roll compelling us,

They don't know where we've been,

The heartbreak that lead us here,

To this always winter place,

Where warmth can only reach,

Us in a soul mate's embrace.

Nana's voice faded away as she knew what she wanted to do. She passed the mic stand and stepped off of the stage to see it. Ren's Paradise. _If… Ren's Paradise is the same as mine then… _With eyes wide she knew it. This was it. His Paradise was exactly how she pictured it. It was a large room, now big enough to fit a stage that held the Black Stones banner proudly above it. The room itself was a warehouse with a bed, a kitchen, Sid and Nancy posters, and a tiny bathtub. On the far side of the room she couldn't help but feel her heart squeeze when she saw something she'd never seen before.

Encased in an intricate silver frame the size of a window stood a woman. Her hair was short and charcoal underneath the soft white veil. The veil was attached to a gorgeous white gold tiara, just as intricate as the frame. With cat eyes decorated in bridal make-up, cheeks flushed from the embarrassment she felt when he told her she was beautiful. Her floor length gown was silk in a silhouette that complimented her tiny frame. A slit from the top of her right hip revealed the garter on her thigh, travelling down her slender leg, to the pearly white of her heel. The bouquet she held contained pink lotus blossoms and other tinier flowers. The onlooker could see the gleaming of her engagement ring, the one that matched her best friend's along with a wedding ring on top of it. The wedding ring had a diamond shaped like a heart encrusted with two smaller rubies to either side and the engraved look of whisps.

Next to this woman, looking handsome and proud was a man with spiked black hair. His face was strong and clearly the happiest it had ever been. He wore the traditional suit for this auspicious day and also had a ring gracing his left hand. It was more masculine, but beautiful all the same. He had his arms around her as they looked at all of their friends.

Nana collapsed to the ground again with a hand cupping her mouth and more tears found their way down her cheeks. "…Oh my…" she choked before she could say anymore. She turned over to see the back of her left hand. Surely enough, it was still there, the engagement ring, her final gift from a living Ren and it gleamed in the light. She cried so hard that she couldn't hold herself up. She'd looked into a picture of something that would never be now that Ren was dead.

Ren's face fell into sadness, realizing what all of this had done to her. _I've trapped you here… There's no way you can go back now…_ He felt the guilt rise in his chest as he stared at this picture that he hadn't seen before either. He put a hand on it and part of him felt the glee of that moment. He turned around to look at Nana, all crumpled on the floor. He picked her up and put her on the bed next to him and whispered, "I'm sorry." He then kissed her and left her to herself.

Nana was about to fall asleep from the exhaustion when she heard a chorus of voices calling out to her.

"Nana!" Hachi was crying hysterically.

"Don't give up, Nana! Just hold on!" came Nobu's choked voice. "Yasu, you have to do something!"

Nana looked at the door that she and Ren had stepped through together, it was glowing. _I can still go back…

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Hey everyone, thanks for waiting for the new chapter! I was trying to decide what Nana should do. So, I will leave it up to the readers. The next chapter will most likely be the final one. If you go to my profile page you can vote if Nana stays with Ren, returns to the world of the living, or if you would like me to write both endings. I will write the ending that is most popular. Until then, read and review. ~Hatori's Snowdrop Princess


	5. Inbox 5: And I Choose… Ending 1

Hey, hope you're all enjoying the story! The readers have chosen for me to write both endings. Here's the first one, I hope you all like it!

Disclaimer: All of the characters and original story belong to Ai Yazawa-sensei.

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Inbox (5): And I Choose… (Ending 1)

Ren sat alone backstage with his fingers interlocked, holding him up by his forehead. The speaker was hard and cold like the reality of life under him.

"There's no paradise without you…" he whispered, admitting it to himself. He got up and stole a peak from behind the heavy, red velvet curtain.

He saw Nana sleeping on her side facing the door. She looked so peaceful as he moved to sit beside her on the lonely side of the bed. Her eyes were closed and the sound of her soft snoring tugged at his heart. Ren lay down beside her, bringing his knees up a bit and brushed her hair behind her ear so that he could see just a little more of her porcelain skin. He kissed the back of her neck and allowed himself to drift into a heavy slumber.

Nana could hear everything. There was a strange beeping noise coming from all around her. She could hear the voices calling her, pulling her close to them.

"Who's there?" she called into the shadows. "Where did everything go? Where's Ren?" she pleaded, suddenly feeling very alone. "Ren?" her voice echoed and as one echo faded she shouted again.

A hand appeared from the darkness in front of her. "It's time to make a decision," the hand's owner told her. She stared at it, afraid of what to do.

"I can't, I don't know yet," she muttered. "I-I just need more time." She put her hands on her head and her body shook with frustration.

"No, you've been here too long."

"Too long? How do you expect me to decide something like this when I don't even know how I got here! This isn't fair!" she shouted at it.

"Are you still holding on?" the voice asked, starting to sound more familiar. The scent of black cherries filled the air around her. She could make out a faint outline of a man now.

"What do you mean?" she asked, suddenly aware that wherever she was, it wasn't good.

The man shifted his weight, running a hand over his bald head and removing his sunglasses. He took an invisible seat beside her, resting on the air. "First Ren and now you, too," he tilted his head back, blinking rapidly. "I have a feeling this isn't going to end well." He shifted again, this time his head was down, his hands covered his face.

She reached up to move them so that she could examine his features, "Please, Yasu…" she whispered to him. Another familiar figure walked in, this time a short, skinny guy came in. His hair was spiked, she could make out that much. "Nobu."

"Any change?" Nobu asked quietly, the sadness in his voice made her heart ache. Yasu lifted himself from his chair and put a hand on Nobu's shoulder as he walked passed, clearing his face before disappearing.

Nobu stood above her, staring down with a look of anguish that made her want to reach out and grab hold of him. "Stop, don't look at me like that!" she begged. She suddenly realized there was something soft under her. She couldn't move, no matter how hard she tried.

Nobu put his head against the wall, his right arm, raised above his head, was against the wall. His other hand was balled into a fist. "I can't believe this is happening!" he groaned. "How can you just leave us like this?" Both hands shook as he moved from the wall to face her. His hands were leaned against the soft thing beneath her, his head was down, and drops of salty sweet water fell from his face, "There's no way we'll recover from this…" he admitted quietly, "There's no way I'll recover from this. If you leave, I'll never play guitar with someone else again." He was quiet for a moment. "I only want to play if you're singing."

Nana felt like someone had just dropped a huge weight on her chest and she couldn't breathe. She wanted to reach up and tell him it was all okay, but she couldn't. She heard a sound, like someone knocking on the door. Nobu's head snapped up, looking to the left. Nana could make out Shin peeking in, but then turning away with a solemn look. Nobu got up to let him have his turn beside her.

As Shin approached her he seemed like he was ashamed or something. His eyes darted away as he stood in front of her. He looked like a puppy, lost for words. Without a word, he walked back out of the room.

There was nothing but that beeping sound as she stayed put, trying to figure out what was going on. Her head felt fuzzy and nothing was all that clear. "Yasu… Nobu… Shin…" With a sudden jolt she saw what was going on. With a little more focus she realized she was in a bed and that beeping sound was a monitor connected to her heart. "What the hell?" she yelled, shaking her head. "No, no! This can't be happening!" She tried to thrash around, but nothing would move. A door was there in front of her and it opened softly.

Very carefully, Hachi shut the door behind her and took the vacant seat. Her eyes were red, like she'd been crying nonstop. "Hey, Nana," she began in her sweet voice. "Do you remember everything we've been through together?" She smiled, "From the day we've met until now I've always admired you for your strength." The smile faltered, "I could never be like you. You're so cool! You have an awesome voice and you've been through so much. Thank you for being my best friend." Hachi leaned over on the bed to put a hand on Nana's. "If you come back I'll make you a cake with strawberries and whipped cream and chocolate. It'll be just for you," Hachi's voice wavered, "You know, everyone's waiting for you."

Hachi burst into tears and Nana couldn't stop herself either. The tears rolled down her face and down her neck. A light appeared from behind the bed and she could move once again. "No, I'm not ready! I can't… Ren…" she cried in broken sounds.

Ren stepped through the light and guided Nana out of the bed, "I know," he said, inhaling the scent of strawberries in her hair. "I understand. It's not your time, but when it is I'll be here waiting for you to come home."

She hugged him tightly and tears squeezed through her eyes. Then, she did the hardest thing she'd ever done in her entire life. She broke away from Ren's embrace and took a step towards the bed and Hachi. He tucked her into it and kissed her sweetly one last time before everything the white light engulfed her.

Nana could still feel Ren's lips pressed softly against hers when she woke up. The beeping sound was louder than it had been in the black abyss. Hachi was really there, but not just a ghost of herself. Her hand was still holding Nana's, so she gave it a squeeze. Hachi's eyes flew open and she looked down to see Nana with a tear stained face, but her eyes open. Hachi's smile was bright and cheery as she put her arms around Nana.

Nana lifted her arms and draped them over Hachi's shoulders. With a heavy sigh of relief Hachi whispered, "Welcome back."

The door opened and Nobu walked in behind Yasu. Shin followed, looking awkward and unsure of what to say.

_Hey Ren,_

_ I think I made the right choice. I hope you recognize me when I get back. After all, my looks will have faded, but I'll be the greatest old woman ever. They're gonna have to drag me out of this life next time. You better welcome me home in style!_

_ -Nana

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Well, there's the first ending. I really hope you guys liked it! I'll be writing the other ending soon, so don't forget to come back for that. Please read and review! Things tend to come out faster when there are more reviews. ~Hatori's Snowdrop Princess


	6. Inbox 6: And I choose Ending 2

Hey, hope you're all enjoying the story! The readers have chosen for me to write both endings. Here's the last one, I hope you all like it!

Note: the beginning is the same as the first ending's because at the end of Nana's visit is when she must choose to stay or go.

Disclaimer: All of the characters and original story belong to Ai Yazawa-sensei.

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Inbox (5): And I Choose… (Ending 2)

Ren sat alone backstage with his fingers interlocked, holding him up by his forehead. The speaker was hard and cold like the reality of life under him.

"There's no paradise without you…" he whispered, admitting it to himself. He got up and stole a peak from behind the heavy, red velvet curtain.

He saw Nana sleeping on her side facing the door. She looked so peaceful as he moved to sit beside her on the lonely side of the bed. Her eyes were closed and the sound of her soft snoring tugged at his heart. Ren lay down beside her, bringing his knees up a bit and brushed her hair behind her ear so that he could see just a little more of her porcelain skin. He kissed the back of her neck and allowed himself to drift into a heavy slumber.

Nana could hear everything. There was a strange beeping noise coming from all around her. She could hear the voices calling her, pulling her close to them.

"Who's there?" she called into the shadows. "Where did everything go? Where's Ren?" she pleaded, suddenly feeling very alone. "Ren?" her voice echoed and as one echo faded she shouted again.

A hand appeared from the darkness in front of her. "It's time to make a decision," the hand's owner told her. She stared at it, afraid of what to do.

"I can't, I don't know yet," she muttered. "I-I just need more time." She put her hands on her head and her body shook with frustration.

"No, you've been here too long."

"Too long? How do you expect me to decide something like this when I don't even know how I got here! This isn't fair!" she shouted at it.

"Are you still holding on?" the voice asked, starting to sound more familiar. The scent of black cherries filled the air around her. She could make out a faint outline of a man now.

"What do you mean?" she asked, suddenly aware that wherever she was, it wasn't good.

The man shifted his weight, running a hand over his bald head and removing his sunglasses. He took an invisible seat beside her, resting on the air. "First Ren and now you, too," he tilted his head back, blinking rapidly. "I have a feeling this isn't going to end well." He shifted again, this time his head was down, his hands covered his face.

She reached up to move them so that she could examine his features, "Please, Yasu…" she whispered to him. Another familiar figure walked in, this time a short, skinny guy came in. His hair was spiked, she could make out that much. "Nobu."

"Any change?" Nobu asked quietly, the sadness in his voice made her heart ache. Yasu lifted himself from his chair and put a hand on Nobu's shoulder as he walked passed, clearing his face before disappearing.

Nobu stood above her, staring down with a look of anguish that made her want to reach out and grab hold of him. "Stop, don't look at me like that!" she begged. She suddenly realized there was something soft under her. She couldn't move, no matter how hard she tried.

Nobu put his head against the wall, his right arm, raised above his head, was against the wall. His other hand was balled into a fist. "I can't believe this is happening!" he groaned. "How can you just leave us like this?" Both hands shook as he moved from the wall to face her. His hands were leaned against the soft thing beneath her, his head was down, and drops of salty sweet water fell from his face, "There's no way we'll recover from this…" he admitted quietly, "There's no way I'll recover from this. If you leave, I'll never play guitar with someone else again." He was quiet for a moment. "I only want to play if you're singing."

Nana felt like someone had just dropped a huge weight on her chest and she couldn't breathe. She wanted to reach up and tell him it was all okay, but she couldn't. She heard a sound, like someone knocking on the door. Nobu's head snapped up, looking to the left. Nana could make out Shin peeking in, but then turning away with a solemn look. Nobu got up to let him have his turn beside her.

As Shin approached her he seemed like he was ashamed or something. His eyes darted away as he stood in front of her. He looked like a puppy, lost for words. Without a word, he walked back out of the room.

There was nothing but that beeping sound as she stayed put, trying to figure out what was going on. Her head felt fuzzy and nothing was all that clear. "Yasu… Nobu… Shin…" With a sudden jolt she saw what was going on. With a little more focus she realized she was in a bed and that beeping sound was a monitor connected to her heart. "What the hell?" she yelled, shaking her head. "No, no! This can't be happening!" She tried to thrash around, but nothing would move. A door was there in front of her and it opened softly.

Very carefully, Hachi shut the door behind her and took the vacant seat. Her eyes were red, like she'd been crying nonstop. "Hey, Nana," she began in her sweet voice. "Do you remember everything we've been through together?" She smiled, "From the day we've met until now I've always admired you for your strength." The smile faltered, "I could never be like you. You're so cool! You have an awesome voice and you've been through so much. Thank you for being my best friend." Hachi leaned over on the bed to put a hand on Nana's. "If you come back I'll make you a cake with strawberries and whipped cream and chocolate. It'll be just for you," Hachi's voice wavered, "You know, everyone's waiting for you."

Hachi burst into tears and Nana couldn't stop herself either. The tears rolled down her face and down her neck. A light appeared from behind the bed and she could move once again. "No, I'm not ready! I can't… Ren…" she cried in broken sounds.

Ren's arms felt warm and the familiar melding of their bodies gave her a comfort no one else had been able to. _That heat… How can it be the last time I touched him he was icy like the blizzards in our hometown. It's almost like an Indian summer, burning hot in the middle of the snow. _The feeling was surreal, even more than just how when she'd been with Hachi. She looked over Ren's shoulder and tried to make out her friends' shadows once more but it was no use and the attempt left her feeling empty and suddenly alone. She could feel the onset of a panic attack and her fists clenched as she drew in a sharp breath.

Just then, something warm and smooth hit her neck, turning colder with the passing seconds. The pain in her chest numbed as her arms fell limp at her side. This man, whom stood so proud with a bass in hand on stage in front of crowds of thousands shook. It wasn't the normal shaking that his hands did when he was in withdrawal, no, this was different. The waves pulsated from him and transferred through her. She too felt the wave of emotion and her arms flew back up, her hands gripping his neck as she too began to cry.

"Ren," he is name resonated through the empty air, garnering no response. She tried again, "Ren."

This time he lookd up, his face wet and red with embarrassment. Sorrow seemed to turn quickly into anger. He let her go.

"It isn't fair!" he declared, slamming his fists on the floor, the chains of his jacket clanging together. Nana backed up and waited for him to continue. "It's not like I wanted this to happen! I-" his voice broke, he leaned against some wall that she couldn't see. He turned his head to look at her.

_Ren looks so weak. Worse than I've ever seen him._ She bit her lip as she debated whether to get up and go to him. _If I choose Ren then I will never see Hachi or the others again. I will never become a famous singer, which means… I'll have to give up all my dreams._ The thought angered her. _Ha, give up all my dreams for one guy? I must be crazy!_ The courage to tell Ren she was leaving came to her but one look back at him, now with his back at the wall, sitting with his knees near his chest, still shaking, still angry and sad, it hurt her. Nana never knew how painful it was to feel for someone else. _After Grandma died and Nobu introduced me to Ren all we had was each other. How-how can I leave him now?_

She could feel her pride screaming at her, telling her that it was stupid to give it up for him, just a guy. There were plenty more out there! Her train of thought was halted as Ren started talking again, in a softer voice than before, an almost defeated voice, "Nana," his gaze held hers, "I never wanted any of this to happen… I- I wanted to marry you and be with you. Not with anyone else. I was going to turn it all around!" Anger flashed through his eyes for a moment but disappeared as he got up and went to her. Nana stood up to face him.

The two of them stared at each other for what seemed like a long time. Ren kept talking, "Nana, I love you and I want to be with you. If you stay I promise I will make you happy. Happier than we've ever been on earth." He was so genuine and determined to live up to what he just said, she could feel that. In truth, she knew he would fulfill his promise.

Nana stroked Ren's cheek and closed her eyes, imagining a world without Ren. After a few moments she told him, "I've got pride. I never needed anyone and I did just fine on my own. After you left I moved on," she hesitated, "Or at least… I thought I did. I… became too dependent on you to fill the emptiness. I lost my independence when I was with you!" She paused for Ren to start screaming at her but he didn't, instead he waited for her to say more. Admitting all of this was hard and she felt the pain of sharing such deep feelings swelled inside of her, making it hard to breathe again but she went on, sounding a little hysterical, "But what the hell is pride when you have nothing but pain? You suck!" she jabbed a finger in his chest as she repeated 'you suck' over and over again.

Ren took her hand in his and gave her a hard look, then he kissed her. The room slowly began to return around them as she and Ren lay on the floor. He glanced up for a moment and whispered with a serene smile, "I guess you've made your choice." His body, on top of hers made their make-out session even more intense because she feared he would crush her and she would never be free. His breath on her neck, his bare chest against hers, she wanted him and gave into him.

As she lay on the floor next to Ren, who'd fallen asleep, like he so often did she knew she'd made the right choice.

_Hey, Hachi_ she thought, lighting a cigarette.

_I always thought that my guitar and cigarettes were all I needed. I thought my pride would take me everywhere I wanted to go. But pride be damned in a world of pain. Yeah, I feel like an idiot, giving everything in my life up for one guy. But, Ren, yeah, he's the real and only guy and he has always been all I need: _

_My paradise_

_ -Nana_

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Well, that's it for "Calling to Paradise" I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for waiting so long for the second ending! Read and review!

-Hatori's Snowdrop Princess


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